Well + wise: A clean slate
December 29, 2023
Here’s a resolution: Prioritize your mental health.
by Juliet Lam Kuehnle
As the calendar flips to a new year, many of us use this as an opportunity to set New Year’s resolutions. These resolutions tend to be aimed at self-improvement in some way and are often somewhat lofty goals. We see the first of the year as a clean slate, which will surely yield new motivation and commitment.
According to Forbes, as of 2022 around 40-50% of people in the U.S. make New Year’s resolutions, yet only about 8-12% of people achieve their goals. The most common resolutions tend to include physical health-related goals (i.e. exercise more, lose weight), financial goals (i.e. save money, reduce debt), and personal development goals (i.e. learn a new skill, read more).
Let’s start with considering the pros of setting New Year’s resolutions:
- Goal setting can increase motivation.
- If we stick to our goals, we experience increased self-efficacy.
- Resolutions can lead to structured self-reflection. This introspection can help us better understand our needs.
Cons of setting New Year’s resolutions:
- There is a tendency to set unrealistic expectations that can then lead to feelings of failure.
- Perfectionism can be fueled, as resolutions encourage all-or-nothing thinking: “If I don’t meet this goal, I have failed.”
- Resolutions promote a short-term focus since it’s hard to maintain them throughout the year, causing a cycle of disappointment and self-doubt.
There tends to be an overemphasis on external validation as resolutions tend to be about meeting external societal standards or goals aligned with values that aren’t actually our own.
Since so few people succeed in following through with resolutions and there are potential negative consequences to our mental health, I’d like to explore a different approach this January. Instead of setting rigid resolutions, I invite you to figure out what it could look like to prioritize your mental health and well-being, making it a central theme for your entire year (and life!). By focusing on mental health — without the constraints of resolutions — you can cultivate a healthier and more balanced well-being. This is an invitation to consider more realistic, individualized, values-aligned adjustments to your daily life that come from a gentler approach and are therefore more sustainable.
Mental health is our emotional, psychological and social well-being. It is how we relate to the world and in the world and influences how we think, feel and act. By prioritizing our mental health, we can improve our resilience and our ability to tolerate distress, and we can maintain healthier relationships with ourselves and others.
Rather than viewing mental health as something to address only when problems arise, we need to learn to take a proactive approach. We need to do this in a way that makes taking care of our mental health a daily priority, not just saved for January or an upcoming Monday. This requires a commitment to ourselves, over and over again. Here are some tips to do just that:
Learn to take the time to reflect on your mental and emotional health by asking self-reflective questions like: How am I really feeling? What aspects of my life are causing me stress or anxiety? Are there any unresolved or unexpressed emotions that I’m carrying?
Focus on the process, rather than any particular outcome. For example, many New Year’s resolutions tend to be about weight loss (and other goals steeped in diet culture). Perhaps what you’re really after is incorporating more movement into your daily life. When you understand the “goal” as the intention to move your body in a way that feels intuitive, fun and meaningful, you’re more likely to stick to consistent physical activity.
Dedicate time to activities that nurture and nourish your mind, body and soul. For some, that might mean practicing daily meditation; for others, it might mean enjoying a soothing cup of herbal tea at the end of a busy day. Self-care is an investment in your mental well-being and is not just to be practiced when you’re already overwhelmed, stressed or burned out. Learn to proactively engage in daily acts that fill you up and help you recharge.
Work to improve self-awareness by learning to pay attention to what’s going on in the present, rather than living on autopilot or spinning out and worrying about the future. This is mindfulness, really, but there are many ways to practice paying attention to the present on purpose (try using your five senses when you brush your teeth tonight!). The intention is to learn to observe your thoughts and feelings so that you then understand that you have agency over how to cope with them.
Making mental health a central focus every day, rather than some drastic resolution for the new year, will set you up for long-lasting benefits. It’s not resolutions we need — it’s a commitment to our mental health. SP
Juliet Kuehnle is the owner and a therapist at Sun Counseling and Wellness.
