Stop the scroll
September 29, 2024
Charlotte families join a growing national movement to keep younger kids off smartphones.
by Ken Garfield
If you’re the parent of a preteen, you surely know about the problem — even though statistics show you haven’t done much about it. Who can blame you? Trying to rescue your child from the rising tide of the internet and social media will leave you drowning in frustration.
But take heart, parents and other caregivers. Wait Until 8th is on the job, including at St. Gabriel Catholic School in Charlotte and 20-plus other Carolinas schools.
Brooke Shannon, a mother of three in Austin, Texas, founded the nationwide nonprofit in 2017. Wait Until 8th invites families to sign a pledge agreeing to put off getting their children an internet-connected smartphone at least until they finish eighth grade, peer pressure be darned. That’s generally 14 years old. Talk about an uphill battle: A Pew Research Center survey found that 60% of U.S. kids were exposed to smartphones by age five, 31% by age two.
We’re not talking about a Gizmo Watch or similar devices that allow parents and kids to communicate back and forth. (“Hey Mom, I’m at Lindsey’s house.”) We’re talking about a smartphone — basically a computer in your child’s pocket — that opens the door to everything that’s out there.
“When you give your kid an internet-based device, you’re not giving your kid access to the world,” Meri Short says. “You’re giving the world access to your kid.”
Meri and Matt Short of Charlotte are among 60,000 families across all 50 states who have signed the Wait Until 8th pledge. But that wasn’t enough for Meri. She spent 15 years working in tech in San Francisco before her family moved to Charlotte. She saw up close the insidious ways the industry targets kids. “In a world where we are more connected than ever,” she says, “clinical data shows our kids feel more isolated and depressed than ever.”
Outraged, she launched Wait Until 8th at St. Gabriel’s (grades K-5), where the Shorts have two kids. More than 100 St. Gabe families and counting have signed the pledge, available online at waituntil8th.org.
According to Wait Until 8th, families at 20-plus schools in the Carolinas have signed the pledge. Among those listed on its website are Carmel Christian, Charlotte Country Day, Providence Day and Selwyn Elementary schools.
The research confirms our worst fears. Studies show that dependence on a smartphone can produce some of the same addictive responses as alcohol, drugs and gambling. The National Institutes of Health reported that MRIs found differences in the brains of children who use smartphones, tablets and video games more than seven hours a day. (Surveys show that tweens ages 8 to 12 average 5 1/2 hours a day on their phones, much of it on social media.) These devices, when abused, can contribute to depression, anxiety, isolation and disruptive behavior. It affects sleep. Studies show that kids are studying less and hanging out with friends less. Smartphones can lead to the unthinkable: suicide, suicidal thoughts, cyberbullying (social media is fertile ground for this), pornography and sexploitation (illegal activity that involves one person manipulating another into doing something sexual).
Am I missing anything other than a lack of exercise and silence at the dinner table? “How was your day?” can’t compete with scrolling online between bites.
You might have seen social psychologist Jonathan Haidt on one TV news show or another. The title of his book says it all: “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.” He believes that our nation’s mental-health crisis was sparked in part when flip phones gave way to smartphones. Among his recommendations? Go ride your bike. As he puts it, “We need to roll back the phone-based childhood and restore the play-based childhood.”
Yes, many parents are OK with iPads for long car trips. (The Garfield kids used to see who could spot the most red cars.) And yes, there are parental controls on devices. But how about the best control of all? Just say no until those for whom you are responsible are old enough to do the right thing. Or at least old enough to listen to you asking them to do the right thing.
The last word goes to Henry Oakes.
Henry, 11, is a fifth-grader at St. Gabe. He enjoys playing baseball, jumping on the trampoline, watching Disney and Marvel movies, and drawing. He was in third grade when he told his parents, Jason and Kallah Oakes, that some of his friends have smartphones, can he have one, too? They told him no. Two years later, they’ve signed the pledge. They may wait beyond eighth grade to allow their kids to have smartphones.
So Henry, what about it — are you OK waiting awhile for a smartphone?
“Yes,” he says. “I think it would be more distracting to have one. When I see kids with phones they’re usually looking down and walking.” SP
Ken Garfield is a freelance writer and editor who helps charitable causes tell their stories. He also edits books and writes obituaries. Reach him at garfieldken3129@gmail.com.
