Well + wise: The benefits of internal hospitality
August 29, 2024
Creating psychologically safe environments at work, home and elsewhere can lead to better innovation, creativity and connection.
by Juliet Lam Kuehnle
Since the pandemic, more and more workplaces continue to embrace conversations around mental wellness and prioritize psychological safety. They now understand that this is a crucial ingredient for fostering and maintaining a productive and healthy workplace and also contributes to a company’s overall success.
Psychological safety is an environment where people feel safe taking risks, expressing their thoughts and ideas, asking for help, sharing feedback, and admitting mistakes without fear of negative consequences. It’s a culture that is supportive and nonjudgmental. It fosters creativity and innovation, because people are willing to brainstorm and share their unique perspectives. And perhaps most importantly, everyone feels valued, heard and respected.
In order to create and maintain psychologically safe environments — at work, at home, or in other groups — leaders need to model and embody vulnerability and openness. This can be a big shift for some people and even feel foreign and intimidating. Some ways to do this are to practice open communication and active listening, normalize making mistakes, and make expectations clear through consistent messaging.
Another phrase for psychological safety is “internal hospitality.” Self-compassion and self-care are key for practicing internal hospitality, as they create the nurturing and kindness required to build resilience and connection.
Restaurateur Steve Palmer lives this sentiment and prioritizes it within his company, The Indigo Road Hospitality Group. The Charleston restaurant group has a deep presence in the Queen City with O-Ku, Oak Steakhouse, Indaco and Mizu. Palmer is also a co-founder of Ben’s Friends, a support group for the food and beverage industry. He often gets tearful when discussing his gratitude for his journey, what he has overcome, and where he is today. Palmer embodies gratitude as a way of being, then endeavors to pass it down through his restaurants, their people and their food.
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You share your story a lot, and literally wrote a book about it. What’s that truly like?
I talk about the intersection of passion and purpose. Passion is my obsession with hospitality: the drive to grow a [concept] from one restaurant to 25. Purpose is Ben’s Friends: being homeless, being addicted for two decades, coming through that and getting the gift of sobriety and seeing how the most horrible things in your life can be of service to others. The feeling that I have when I’m talking about my recovery — I wish for every human to have that feeling. When you’re aligned in a way that you absolutely know this is where you’re supposed to be, there’s a sense of awe, wonder, grace and humility that comes with the privilege of getting to do that. Addiction wins more than it doesn’t. I feel honored and so grateful to be in my purpose.
You use a lot of therapy language!
I have “therapeutic Mondays.” I go to individual and marriage counseling. Everyone should be in therapy. You can get an objective opinion in your life that can help guide you. But we know people are afraid of looking at themselves. I have all the vernacular and words, and I still need therapy. All the self-knowledge in the world doesn’t heal wounds. Can you heal yourself from real trauma? My mother abandoned me 43 years ago. My father died when I was 10. I was in rehab three times before I was ready to surrender. Some wounds get smaller, but they don’t go away.
There’s not truly a destination with healing, it’s a process. Why is it worth it to you to learn how to be loved?
I’m still in awe sometimes of how hard it is for me to allow myself to be loved. But, if not now, when? I want to learn this thing. On a soul level, these are the lessons I chose to learn in this life. I’m grateful I’m an alcoholic, because I seek the depths of this life I now have.
Thank you for standing in your truth in service.
Asking for help is a sign of intelligence, not a sign of weakness. The guiding principle of our company is that our employees have to have a hospitable experience before our guests can. Internal hospitality is about how we treat each other, how we speak to each other, creating safe spaces. In my company, I always say everyone is welcome at our table, even those we disagree with. This business truly gave me everything I have. They took me when no one else would. SP
Juliet Kuehnle is the owner and a therapist at Sun Counseling and Wellness. The full interview of her conversation with Steve Palmer is on Instagram @YepIGoToTherapy or wherever you stream podcasts.
Featured image: Photograph by Chrissy Winchester
